As I grow older, yesterday I was 14 thinking about the man who would save me from my chaos, save me from my own family, save me from my financial difficulty. And today I’m 25, and I don’t know what to do with my life, I’m afraid of marriage, I hate kids, I don’t know how to do house work (?) I’m extremely hopeless and kind of depressed, plus this pandemic, it’s block off my mobility. I’m in love with a toxic guy. Actually, I don’t know whether I’m in love with him or not, cuz I’ve been thinking about the other man too.
I guess this is what people called as quarter life crisis :/ I mean, I have to heal my childhood trauma, and then start to figure out my life. Ah so much thing to do when you were born in such a poor and toxic family.
Plus, all those weird people who’s into motivator shits, who’s gonna tell you that you’re poor because you’re not work hard enough, ugh… Bro, those rich ass bitches can get to the top easily meanwhile I have to bleeding to get the half result as the rich bitches.
Maybe someday I would get the picture what’s the point of my life, what am I? what should I do, and what the purpose of my life. As that time comes by, I would read this blog again. And I’m so sorry if I’m being nobody, I might not try hard enough, but whatever is it I would be still so proud of myself. Thanks to myself for keeping and trying until this time. I’m gonna work on that self-love again.
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